“Hey, here comes that guy that waters us. I could use a good root-soaking!”
“I’m kinda wondering about that guy, truth to tell. Look what he’s doing over in that carrot bed!”
“Shit, he’s pulling up half of the plants! What’s got into him?”
“Y’know, I saw a documentary about plantopathic gardeners. They get some sort of sick thrill from pulling up plants, plants just like us, by their roots! It could be that Larry is a serial thinner!”
“Oh, no, here he comes!”
“Hey guys, I gotta do this, but it’s for your own good. You are growing too thickly. Some of ya have to go! I should tell you that most of you are destined to be eaten by humans.”
“Oh, Larry, is that why you planted us? I thought it was just because you like plants! All of my illusions are being shattered!”
I’ll omit a description of the sad carnage which followed this exchange! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!